Lisa's Blog post # 12

Rarely do I feel the need to throw myself a pity-party.  I have a lot to be thankful for and, on those rare days when I do feel a little down, all I have to do is begin making my way through my list of blessings and I am joyful again!

Today has been different.  I have been very discouraged ever since my ride this morning and actually sat down and felt sorry for myself for a few minutes.  Then I hopped up and started in on the errands and house cleaning – nothing like mopping the floor to burn off a little gloom!  But the feeling is still there – gnawing away at me.  If my self-esteem were not based on something bigger than my riding ability I would be an absolute mess right now!

We are regressing.  I feel as though a doctor, who once told me I was cured, has now told me the disease is back.  Cotton was rushing around with his head up and then down, cutting the corners of our circles, attempting to anticipate my every request and always getting it wrong!  We were right back where we started.   Even though I technically know how to fix it, I couldn’t get it done.  There were brief moments of success but they vanished too quickly to even count.  I’m sure we were both glad when I ended the torture session!  

I have an emergency call into Dr. Lesley.