Search the Site
Kirsten's Blog Post # 2: "I'm Allergic to Barn Drama"
I'm Allergic to Barn Drama
So it almost goes without saying that the horse world is filled with drama. I like to say I am allergic to drama, I literally just want to take care of my horse, ride, learn, get better, compete, maybe pick up a ribbon or two, and repeat.
But as easy as that sounds it is really not. Drama can happen on so many different levels. It happens on social media like facebook, twitter, tumblr, and youtube. It can happen at shows when a student of Trainer A beats a student of Trainer B. It can happen at barns, especially at barns. At a lesson barn it happens between the students, at a boarding barn between the boarders, and yes, it apparently can even happen at a rough board facility. It can happen between student and trainer, it just happens... Drama happens...
But why? Ask yourself this, WHY do you feel that it is okay to gossip about little Suzy who is having a hard time learning how to canter or the student in the lower jumping class that really just has no base of support? Why is it okay to snicker at the girl with the back yard pony or the boy who really just wants to be left alone so he can learn to ride without girls bothering him the entire time? Why is it okay to judge someone for not having endless supply of money to go out and purchase the latest and greatest gadget every month? As long as a rider is trying to learn, not abusing, and not neglecting the animal, why is it any of your business?
We all come from different places and we all have different goals when it comes to horses. Some people own pasture pets and that is exactly what they want. Others enjoy training young horses and putting on the first bit of training before passing them along to their new partners. I personally have enjoyed teaching a very even minded draft cross how to Event. We are not the flashiest pair and even on our absolute best day, best dressage test, handiest stadium round, fastest xc trip, there is an extremely good chance we won't pin. But that's not why I Event and that's not why I ride horses.
Just because we have different goals and different ideas on what we want from horses does not give others the right to judge and gossip about it. Horses are many things to many different people and that's that. Just because you don't 110% agree with someones training methods or how they keep their horse does not give you the right to go running to someone else in the barn and gossip about it.
The rest of the world stomps their feet and gets mad when there are incidents of bullying... I can tell you for a FACT there is almost no bullying nastier than that in the horse world. On platforms like twitter and youtube younger riders rip other riders to absolute SHREDS! This is actually a reason I did not claim ownership to my original blog on tumblr for the longest time... I didn't post pictures or video... No one WANTS that kind of judgement. Parents, instructors, coaches, you KNOW this is happening... Please TEACH your kids by setting examples to them. We all judge, it's just a fact, but be aware of it and try to take the nastiness down a bit.
I personally am not a huge fan of certain breeds of horses and certain disciplines of riding, I just personally don't see the appeal. But that's my problem! I'm sure there are many many people who don't get why I Event and choose to gallop down solid objects on a drafty mare. And you may be thinking about all the reports of abuse in "other" disciplines... but guess what? There is drugging, hard handed training, and borderline neglect in each and every discipline of the horse world... Some just get more press than others.
So next time you go to start gossip or drama or judge someone, take step back, and make the conscious adult decision to mind your own business and work your own horses how you think they should be worked and let the world continue turning. Because you can't possibly KNOW the whole situation and if you are really that curious or concerned... Why not simply ASK the person directly!
A great example is I had someone very concerned last summer that I was working my horse too hard. Ariat and I were riding for 1+ hours in the morning before work and for about 2 hours after work 4 days a week and then single rides 2 days a week. That IS a lot of work, there is no doubt about it! However, there is extremely solid reasoning behind it, she was not having the legs jumped off of her, we were under consistent coaching from knowledgeable professional, she was being fed an extremely high calorie diet to match the work, and our wonderful vet was in constant communication with us about diet, respiration, soundness, etc.
Another example: I recently full body clipped my horse. In February, when the temps have been routinely single digits. Apparently this was offensive to some and not "natural". However, had I been asked I could have calmly and rationally told them that The Beast Mare sweats... a LOT... even just tack walking, her coat is so dense that she gets sweaty. So when I started bringing her back into legit trot and some canter work she was getting really overheated and quite damp. This leads to me having to wrap her in multiple coolers, rotating said coolers when they are soaked through, and at one point it was taking me over THREE HOURS to dry the mare off. So a few years ago I started to trace clip her, but just so much sweat people! So now she routinely gets several full body clips every winter and it is a MIRACLE! She can work hard, still sweat, but after hanging out in a cooler for 30 minutes or so she is dry, warm, and ready to be re-blanketed and turned back out!
Lastly, I've probably told this story a billions times, but when I was attending college I wanted to take a summer riding class. Dressage obviously as jumping was the most terrifying thing in the world back then... But the dressage class didn't fill, so a friend suggested I talk to the instructor of the jumping class! I have never been so nervous and insecure about myself in my entire life. That summer was probably some of the hardest riding struggles I have ever had. I was in a group lesson with 5-6 other girls, all of whom had been jumping for a while. I originally felt like a fool... one time legit falling off when the horse I was riding slowly slowed from the trot to the walk and then finally to a very nice halt before a tiny little x-rail. I later fell off again when one of my favorite mares got me unbalanced by over jumping... But each time we completed a bigger gymnastic line or stadium round, or that very first time I got to go xc schooling all the girls were so very supportive. They knew I didn't jump, they knew it terrified me, but they also seemed to know I was trying hard and wanted to get better. Had a single one of them laughed at me behind my back or made gossipy rude comments about my extreme lack of natural talent, horrible lack of position, weight, nerves, or my inability to jump even a x-rail without being terrified/jumping ahead/left behind I'm not sure I would have tried jumping Ariat when that situation presented itself.
All horses are different... All riders are different... All trainers are different... But we all share the common love of horses. Going into the upcoming competition season, please try to be a little nicer to one another out there. These animals are too much fun to be covered in this cloud of negativity!
** Disclaimer ** I am not naive and know there are bad and abusive horse people out there and if you witness legit abuse, obviously this should be dealt with... But this blog is more about the normal every day barn drama and horse show drama that happens and how it is so utterly unnecessary.
Riding Far, LLC
Equivont
Stackhouse Saddles
Our Sponsors!
