The Fringe Eventer Blog Post # 7

_{PRE SEASON TRAINING CAMP}

Well, here we sit 6 days out from our official debut into the eventing world and I find myself praying that our pre season is not a portend of things to come. Riding between thunder boomers has become the norm here in rainy Florida. If it is not ninety-four degrees with a humidity index that pushes the real feel well up above the one hundred mark it is pouring down rain. Either way I have yet to actually use my new-ish jump bridle or even jump an actual jump in 2 whole weeks! Yikes!

Although we are only aiming to snatch a ribbon (any color will do) from a pig tailed little girl in hot pink matchy-matchy event wear on Saturday my OCD self can’t seem to get away from the eventer I once was. I find myself worried that I haven’t been doing any conditioning, such as trot and canter sets down the endless dirt roads near our home. Yeah, yeah, I know this is only tadpole. I know this is just for fun. I know this is just an introduction for Lexi to the idea of being alone (gasp!) on the cross country course with all those scary logs laying around waiting to eat her.

Or at least part of my psyche knows this. The other part is still feeling confident on my prelim horse galloping around with a smile plastered on my face and wondering if they’ll let us go around the course again. Somewhere there is a happy medium. Someday I’ll find it.

On another front, I’ve decided to come clean and admit that I am a full-fledged flunky when it comes to clipping a horse. Normally, for the bargain basement price of $20 my dear friend Val clips my mare and roaches her mane before shows. This is one expense that my budget conscious self has refused to part with so don’t even try to convince me to buy a set of clippers. It ain’t gonna happen. I’ll even pilfer money from the grocery fund to pay for Val.  For $20 I not only get an immaculate clipping job, but also quality girl time to catch up with Val.

Pulling Lex Luther’s mane is really not an option without a large amount of drugs (for both of us!) so I chose the easy route about three months ago and got rid of it all together. I know, it’s so 80’s, but between her recent allergy flare up, her intense desire to avoid having her mane pulled, and my lack of drugs (legal guys…legal) I chose the easy road.

Unfortunately Val has been ill and I was forced this weekend to roach Lex Luther’s mane as it was beginning to resemble the crest on a Trojan helmet. Soooo, after a meandering ride through my neighborhood with a friend I decided to embrace my inner artiste and clip Lexi’s mane. A few laughs later…voila!

Enter the Triceratops! Not especially aerodynamic, but I rather

like it. I gave myself an ‘A’ for creativity and a ‘B-’ for ease of

maintenance. What say you?

and…the finished product.

All of this talk of clipping brought back a laughable moment from our last Hilda lesson. She had a young working student to whom she said, “God put that mane there for a reason. Grab it.”

I think maybe God invented the currently en vogue neck chicken strap for Bozos like me who roach their horse’s manes. That or he sent this mane-phobic mare my way and is laughing his butt off watching me deal with her. Or her with me… I’ll have to give that one some thought.  I just pray he’s with us on Saturday!